Highway to burnout

           First of all I must say that I put my dissapointment with my career down to my utter lack of vocation for it, so I bear no grudge towards the company which gave me my first job. Working there I earnt a good sum of money, for that reason I'll always be grateful to them. Sure it was a good money but the hours were ridiculous. Furthermore there were no young people to talk to and gradually I start finding the work tedious and boring, as well as really stress-inducing. Moreover it turned out that I didn't have the ability to cope with pressure.

          At first, while I still had a real willingness to learn despite my lack of vocation, my workmates and even the boss would withhold knowledges and were reluctant to update me on the latest treatments and breakthroughs. I soon discovered that there is no such thing as team spirit, so without real vocation and any support I completely lacked the tools to deal with my dissatisfaction with the situation and with the profession itself.

         I usually felt I was a small cog in the wheel. Nothing I did really mattered. I had reached burnout and I lost all the interest for that work. I gradually became more and more careless about it; I was sort of trying to get sacked. Finally, not being able to cope with that weird atmosphere I had contributed to create I quit the job and, for the first time in nearly 5 years, I felt free. Despite still being on the dole, it was worth leaving, otherwise I would have gone crazy.

Sniffing scents

          When I worked, at the end of the day I usually went to see my dog and played a little with him before going to bed. He would always sniff me carefully and eagerly, searching all kinds of scents on my clothes, except when I had touched other dogs, that to my amazement  he would turn away jealous and upset. This behaviour made me think about the importance of this sense and made me aware of the importance of this source of information for dogs. Supposing he were a person he would never ask me the tipical "What about your day? What have you done today?" since it would be completely unnecessary. Simply by sniffing he would be able to gather all the information to work out the answer.



Don't you envy them their smell?



         Human beings are much more reliant on sight and hearing, even though these senses are far less  acute in us than in many other species. Each specie see, hear and smell things in a completely different way, it's like if each of them lived in their own world! For example our sight has nothing to do with dogs', cows', bees'... they can't see colours! It could be said the Earth contains as many worlds as ways of experiencing and feeling it, don't you think so?

When plans come to nothing...

           Yes, guys, my attempts to start working again met with complete failure. Unexpectedly enough, at the last moment I fell flat on my face and found this:
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        But don't worry, I won't let it get me down, you can be sure of that! Admittedly I was rather upset for several days, but not now! I just wonder why they told me in so many occasions (4 times!!) that they liked me sooooo much for the post... It annoys me to think that while I was hopefully waiting for a definite answer, they were kind of teasing me. If the post I wanted was for another person, they could at least have been straight with me and tell me the truth right from the beginning, could they? They drive me nuts, liar people!

Has everything to come to an end?

       Yesterday I phoned a friend who studied with me at the university and, despite we hadn't been in touch for several months, we didn't have too much to tell each other... While both of us were studying, we weren't like a house on fire, but were certainly quite close friends and could spend hours talking about anything. Then we used to meet every day and we would always have something to tell, even all sorts of nonsenses. Now we scarcely get in touch, and however we quickly catch up! Once we've told each other the major news, it seems like if there wasn't anything else to be said. We both remain silent... and somehow feel uncomfortable. Admittedly, the less you see a person, the less you have to say!

           I think this happens because we and our circumstances change with time, therefore our relationships change too. As long as we adapt to new situations we're no longer exactly the same we used to be, so our ways of thinking and seeing life also change. That's why when we meet up someone we haven't been in contact for quite some time, we usually get bored... Mind you, you're happy to see that friend again, but you feel you're poles apart now, since you don't understand each other's problems as you used to do... There's no doubt that if you're single, with no kids and living abroad for example, you won't identify with someone married, with several kids and living in the same city as ever, will you?

           In short, to our great sorrow nothing lasts forever! :(