Highway to burnout

           First of all I must say that I put my dissapointment with my career down to my utter lack of vocation for it, so I bear no grudge towards the company which gave me my first job. Working there I earnt a good sum of money, for that reason I'll always be grateful to them. Sure it was a good money but the hours were ridiculous. Furthermore there were no young people to talk to and gradually I start finding the work tedious and boring, as well as really stress-inducing. Moreover it turned out that I didn't have the ability to cope with pressure.

          At first, while I still had a real willingness to learn despite my lack of vocation, my workmates and even the boss would withhold knowledges and were reluctant to update me on the latest treatments and breakthroughs. I soon discovered that there is no such thing as team spirit, so without real vocation and any support I completely lacked the tools to deal with my dissatisfaction with the situation and with the profession itself.

         I usually felt I was a small cog in the wheel. Nothing I did really mattered. I had reached burnout and I lost all the interest for that work. I gradually became more and more careless about it; I was sort of trying to get sacked. Finally, not being able to cope with that weird atmosphere I had contributed to create I quit the job and, for the first time in nearly 5 years, I felt free. Despite still being on the dole, it was worth leaving, otherwise I would have gone crazy.